Feliz Navi-dud

I was like, of course I know the story of Christmas. Everyone knows the story of Christmas! It turns out I knew it as well as I knew the story of Easter.


“What story do you want tonight?”

“How about the story when I was born?”

“Ooh! Or, since it’s almost Christmas, how about the story of when Jesus was born?”

“OH YEAH!”

“Okay, so Mama Mary was pregnant. And she and Papa Joseph—”

“Who’s Papa Joseph?”

“Oh, okay, rewind. So Mama Mary is…?”

“Jesus’ mom.”

“Right. And Papa Joseph is…?”

“Jesus’ dad.”

“Well, he’s Mary’s husband. Jesus actually has two dads.”

Two dads?

“Yeah! Papa Joseph is His Earth Dad.”

EARTH DAD?

“Because His real Dad is…” (points to ceiling)

“…........ huh.”

“It’s God! You know how we need sperm cells to mix with the egg cells to make a baby? God didn’t use sperm cells!”

“So He just put Jesus inside?”

“Yeah! It was pretty cool. The angel told Mama Mary, hey, you're gonna have a baby, and there He was! So Mama Mary was pregnant, like, really pregnant now, and she and Papa Joseph were travelling on a donkey.”

“Horse.”

“Donkey.”

“Horse.”

“Donkey.”

“Horse.”

(Shrek accent) “Donkeh!”

“Horse!”

“Donkeh!”

“Horse!”

“Okay, basta they were travelling. Mama Mary was suuuuper about to give birth, and they had no place to stay! All the inns — kind of like hotels — were full.”

“They had no rooms?”

“Yeah. Until this one nice guy who said, well, I also have no rooms, but if you want, you guys can stay at the barn.”

“What’s a barn?”

“The place with all the animals.”

“Awwwwww! Yay!”

“Wait, no! I mean — not so yay, because it’s really hard to give birth! And she only had the ground."

"Oh."

"Even Jesus’ bed was a manger. It's the thing animals eat out of, and it was full of hay. They turned it into his bed."

“But that's nice! I think the hay is soft!"

“Well, yeah. But—”

“Oh, and where are the wise guys!”

“You know this story na pala?”

(Giggling) “Yeah.”

“Oh man.”

“The wise guys!”

“Ah! Well, I think an angel came to them — or wait, no, were those the other guys the angel went to, uh oh, I’m not sure — and said that hey, there’s a new king!"

"A new king?"

"Yeah, and the angel was like, go visit!”

“Who’s the king?”

“Jesus.”

"He's a king?"

"Yeah."

“Wait, king of what?”

“King of.. um, everything? The King of the Kingdom?”

“The King of the Kingdom?

“YUP AND THAAAAT’S CHRISTMAS! Let’s sleep na!”

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